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Sexual Pleasure

Paula Giles • February 1, 2023

Sexual pleasure involves numerous components for people, and differs for each individual. These components can even differ within an individual, depending on the circumstances and partner(s), and are influenced by cognitive, emotional, physical, behavioral, and relational factors. Many people describe satisfaction in terms of the physical benefits, while others also describe intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits such as self-exploration, experimentation, and spending time with a partner. There is also a strong correlation between pleasurable experiences and good health. Yet sexual pleasure is a topic that many people are hesitant to talk about, as sex is seen as a personal, private matter.  

Discussion of topics related to sexuality may be uncomfortable for some, as many believe that satisfying sex should just occur naturally. Messages we see in television, art, and music can also give inaccurate information, as media examples of what makes sex pleasurable often privilege orgasm and promote performance anxiety. Individuals may be unable to share a sexual concern or preference with their partner(s), even to the detriment of their sexual relations. Fear of discussing sexual pleasure makes it difficult for some to seek professional help and perpetuates cultural myths and unrealistic expectations.  

It is important for therapists to talk openly about sexual intimacy, especially about sexual pleasure, as individuals and couples experiencing sexual difficulties may want to explore alternative ways of achieving sexual satisfaction. Sex Therapy is a specialized form of counseling that addresses concerns about sexual function, sexual feelings, and intimacy — either in individual therapy or in joint therapy with your partner. Sex therapy can be effective for adults of any age, gender, or sexual orientation.

Sex Therapy is a specialized form of counseling that addresses concerns about sexual function, sexual feelings, and intimacy — either in individual therapy or in joint therapy with your partner. Sex therapy can be effective for adults of any age, gender, or sexual orientation.

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Therapy as an Avenue for Asking Questions and Finding Solutions

By Paula Giles • February 1, 2023
The pandemic has had a significant impact on everyone’s mental health and therapists have seen an increase in anxiety, depression, and relationship conflict. If you are struggling through the pandemic, therapy can be a place to explore new coping skills. Consider the following questions: If therapy were helpful for you, what would have to happen that isn't happening now? What does it feel like when you experiencing anxiety/depression/relational conflict? What does it feel like when you aren’t experiencing this struggle? (I want to learn your strengths and what you enjoy to create space for a new story. This information may also reveal the reason that you are committed to working on your mental health and relationships). What are some concerns that you would want to work on? If you were to be in an ideal relationship, what would that look like? What would the role of your partner be in that relationship? What kind of family environment have you always imagined you would create for your own family? How do you see yourself contributing to making that a reality? What do you think will happen if you improve your anxiety/depression/relational conflicts? How will your life be better? How will it be worse? How will the children’s lives be better? How worse? What kind of progress do you think we should make in the next month? Six months? What would you define as success? How will you let me know that we’ve achieved it?
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The Importance of Story Telling

By Paula Giles • February 1, 2023
Therapy involves creating change through new possibilities. Individuals seek therapy when they become “stuck” and cannot create change on their own. Our story guides how we act, think, feel, and make sense of new experiences. Our story becomes “stuck”. It influences perception and meaning of experiences, limiting our ability to see hope for change. Therapy provides a normalizing atmosphere where you can explore your story and ask questions in a non-threatening environment. Therapy can help you challenge your view of yourself as having a problem, and help you develop alternative stories about yourself based on your strengths. 
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